I decided to remove all areas in which I served outside the home; at church, in the community, with friends, etc. For months leading up to that decision, I just didn’t have the same passion for it I once had. I’d make excuses as to why I couldn’t attend, or find other things I needed to do instead most being legitimate. I didn’t know why at the time, I just chalked it up to being a newlywed with a new family to help raise, a home needing my attention because it was under construction and we were searching for a new church. In other words, I had other things to focus on. I just didn’t feel it was right to continue to be obligated to these areas of serving and not show up, so I informed each of them that I could not serve anymore for an undetermined amount of time and with no explanation. That was 5 months ago.
Lately, on FB, Instagram, or in person I’ve seen or heard stories of people serving. Serving the homeless, serving in a new ministry at church or at a local non-profit and my heart stirs and my eyes weep. I have a call…a passion…to serve people. It’s in every cell of blood that runs through my veins. I must serve other people. I don’t know why. I don’t care why. I just know God has given me a passion to serve others. I must do it.
I didn’t know why, at the time (5 months ago) I had lost that deep passion that God had implanted me. Until last night. As I was reading ‘Strategy 1: Your Passion’ in the newly published book, Fervent by Priscilla Schirer, my eyes were enlightened. Enlightened to what the enemy has stolen from me. My passion.
“Passion is what keeps you moving in the direction your best intentions want you to go. That’s why, if I were your enemy, I’d make stealing your passion of my primary goals. Because I know if I could dim your passion, I could significantly lower your resistance to temptation and discouragement.”
I realized as I read that, that I had allowed satan to rob me of my passion to serve others. Do you know how hard that is to swallow? That I allowed, yes, allowed that sneaky, tricky devil to John 10:10 me. He came in and stole my joy and my blessings from being obedient in serving others and ultimately God. But no more!! That snaky beast only got half way through his plan before I declared no more. He may have stolen, but he has not killed or destroyed it yet. I’m standing up and fighting back. I will not allow him to steal another minute or get to the point of killing the passion(s) in my life.
I can also say that although satan has John 10:10’d me, God has Romans8:28’d me. He took what satan meant for bad and turned it into good. In those 5 months of stepping away from all areas of serving, our family has found our ‘home’ church, I have new Christian friends (something I’ve prayed of for many years!), I have a closer walk to God-where I’d been feeling desert-like with Him, it’s now a river overflowing, and now I have clean slate full of possibilities of where He will call me to serve others. I’m excited about what’s to come and how God will use me as His vessel. And I’m even okay with swallowing the fact that I allowed satan to steal my passion. I’m human. It’s okay. I’ve learned from it. And with God’s amazing grace and mercy, He’s forgiven me. And friends, He’ll even forgive YOU when you allow satan in to steal your passion, or anything else He tries to. Be alert. Fight the good fight. Put on your armor. Get on your knees. Be fervent!!