I sit here in a pile of numb. Numbness from the sting of rejection. Rejection of not being qualified enough. Rejection of my dream. As I sit in this muck of numbness with tears streaming down my cheeks I still believe in His will. His perfect will. I know that He knows best. I know there’s a good reason. I also know that sometimes God’s no is hard to swallow. I accept it. But it hurts.
In my mind, I had it all played out. I was going to leave the corporate world. I was going to leave behind the full time status. I envisioned the daily tasks of this new position. I was ecstatic at the idea of working part time. That meant more time for my family, volunteering, friends, for me. I had the financial plans all laid out to cover my cut in pay. I prayed. I asked others to follow, believe and pray with me. They encouraged me soundly. I interviewed well. Then I waited. I rather enjoyed the waiting part. The hard part of the interview was over, my dream was still alive and there was hope.
Then I got the call. The answer was no. We don’t have a job offer for you. We don’t feel you have the Development experience we need. But appreciate your time. They will post again because nobody met their needs. I could barely muster a thank you at the end of that call.
But I believe in God’s perfect will. Is it a coincidence that on the same day I had this ‘dream job interview’ I also had an interview at another agency with a similar mission? And they said, “When can you start?” before I even stepped out of the room? I think not. Is it a coincidence that a Manager in another department at my current employer reached out to ask if I would support their team? That will give me high visibility for other opportunities within? I think not.
God knows what He’s doing. And I trust His path over mine any day. Believe me, I’ve went down some wrong paths in my day. But every time I follow His way, He blesses and protects it. So, although I sit here in the sludge of rejection and numbness, I bring it to the feet of Jesus because He knows. He identifies. And He comforts. Soon these feelings will pass and I’ll be dreaming a new dream with Him. Father knows best.